Thursday, August 27, 2009

Feeling Convicted

I've tried to do this post a couple times this week, but with power outages and doctor's visits, this is the first real chance I've had. I've felt very compelled all week to write this post and I think it's mostly because I don't know about the salvation of the majority of the people that come across my blog.

In the past few weeks I've had some health issues that have really frustrated me to the point of tears, and this week something else happened that prompted a trip to the doctor. Unfortunately, I got no answers and right now we are "waiting it out" to see what happens. In the back of my mind, I still am thinking the worst and I know I really shouldn't do that. In addition to this, James and I have unsuccessfully conceived for well over a year, but have really been struggling with infertility since about January. Infertility is a tough thing. It's emotionally hard and can been physically hard depending on what kind you are dealing with, but the worst part for me is the fact that it has made me a judge. I don't want to be that way, but it's very hard to want a baby so bad and it seems like every where you look you see someone that shouldn't be pregnant. I know that's so wrong to have that way of thinking ! In my mind I start trying to hash it out with God, and I have this conversation that goes back and forth where I try to figure out how the unwed teen mother gets to have a baby, but we don't. Or I see people that are terrible to their children and they are pregnant again, or people that are just down-right unhappy with the fact they are pregnant. I could go on forever on this. To me, this part of not getting pregnant is the toughest to deal with because it seems so unfair.

Now, with all of this being said, here's where I sit. I am blessed beyond belief and I am very aware of this. Every morning this week, I've prayed in my car and listened to Christian radio and I promise you that God has been whispering in my ear all week that everything will be ok. He's constantly been telling me this every day this week and I know He's always telling me this, but for some reason, this week my heart is so open and receptive to what He has to say and it feels great. I KNOW no matter what happens with us trying to have a baby, or with health issues, that it's going to all work out to what He has planned for us. I KNOW that what God has planned for our lives is better than anything we could dream up on our own. Right now, I feel kind of like I'm in God's waiting room. I don't know what will happen, but I'm extremely at peace this week.

So here's the main motive behind this post. In addition to feeling all of this, I got to thinking a lot about the people that read my blog and I started wondering about their salvation. I thought to myself that what if someone else is going through a tough time right now, but because they don't know the Lord, their burden is even heavier than it could be ? Have you ever thought much about your relationship with God ? Do you even believe in God ? Are you the person that I used to be years ago that thought if you only lived your life in such a way that would be pleasing to most that you will most definitely go to Heaven ? I am not ashamed that I used to think that way because I think that many of us are blinded by the enemy and are told many lies about the real truth of salvation. I'm so thankful that someone shared with me the truths in the Bible and now I know how I can have eternal life in Heaven. I feel compelled to share it with you all this week which I have to say is somewhat out of my comfort zone. It's not that I'm not confident in what I believe, but talking openly to anyone and everyone is not something that comes easy to just anyone.

Some of you may think about some of the things you have done in your past or may be currently doing and you may think that God wouldn't love you they way He says, but that is so not true. In Romans 3:23 it says "For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God". Everyone sins and even as a Christian, you will sin. You will never be perfect and anyone that says they aren't a sinner is blinded by reality. The Bible also says in Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord". I love life and I love living it, so to really think about dying sometimes stinks, but dying to this body only and having eternal life is amazing ! If you are unsure about your own salvation, ask your self this....Do you know what it takes to be saved ? Romans 10:9-10 "If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." And if you are skeptical, or have been told there are other ways to be saved, in John 14:6 Jesus says this "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." These are not my words, so please feel free to look them up for yourself. I could probably go on all day, but this is a good start.

My prayer for you today is if you do not know the Lord, that you will open your heart and receive him. I can promise you that your lie will be changed. I am 32 today and my life is better now than it has ever been and I know it is because God loves me, he gives me peace when I need it the most, he will never leave me, and He has given me the free gift of salvation. All I had to do was ask. I have a wonderful husband that loves me for who I am. I have a beautiful daughter that is so amazing and I'm so thankful on this day !!!!


Ebony Haywood said...

beautiful and inspiring post, Amber. :)

Tracye said...

This was beautiful.

I'll be praying for your baby! I didn't know you were trying. I have a friend who just got pregnant last month after trying for the last two years. Much, much prayer got her through.

noni said...

Hey Amber, What a gift salvation... having a relationship with the ONE who can walk in the dee[est depths or soar the highest heights with us.
I am sorry you are not feeling well. Praying you feel bettr soon and also praying for my future grandchild I know he or she will be beautiful (just like their) parnets.

B.jane said...

hey Amber
Such a wonderful post! I will be praying for you and your family!